Morgan Fairchild believes her sense of humor may have saved her life.
The actress, whose role on “Flamingo Road” cemented her bombshell image before she became a glamorous vixen on “Falcon Crest,” has a new podcast, “2 B—-es From Texas,” co-hosted with her sister, Cathryn Hartt.
The show features never-before-heard stories from their decades in showbiz and sit-down interviews with celebrity friends.
On a recent episode, Fairchild recalled being abducted on a New York City street before fame came calling. While it was no laughing matter, Fairchild said she managed to joke her way to freedom.
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The 20-year-old Dallas native was visiting her sister in 1970 when the terrifying ordeal unfolded.
“I’m walking up at two o’clock in the afternoon, broad daylight, no reason to be scared,” Fairchild recalled to Fox News Digital.
“And this one big guy comes up talking to me. Now, I’m from Texas, but I know you’re not supposed to talk to people on the street in New York. You don’t talk to gentlemen. So I’m just ignoring him. And then this other big guy comes up on the other side of me. And these guys are both over 6 feet tall. They just grabbed me up by the elbows and threw me in this cab that was loitering there that I hadn’t noticed.”
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Fairchild said several people were waiting at a nearby bus stop, while others were walking by. Realizing she was in danger, she screamed for help. Fairchild said they must have thought she was “a hooker or something.”
“Nobody lifted a finger,” she said. “In fact, some of them laughed. And that made me realize how easy it would be to totally disappear and nobody would ever know what happened to you.
“The cab has very thick plexiglass between the passengers and the driver,” Fairchild recalled. “I don’t think the driver spoke much English. But these guys started telling me all the things they were going to do to me. That’s how I found out that one was a pimp and the other was a pusher. The one who was a pusher was telling me all the things he was going to shoot me up with. And the pimp was telling me all the things that he was going to do to my body.
“I was a shy kid, but I was damned if I was going to let them see how scared I was,” Fairchild added.
Fairchild said every time her abductors described what they were going to do to her, she responded with “a wisecrack.”
“I had them laughing,” Fairchild said. “At one point, unbelievably to me, one of them looked at the other and said, ‘She’s funny. Let’s let her go.’ And they did. They gave the cab driver some money and said, ‘Take her wherever she wants to go.’ Well, I went back to my sister’s apartment.
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“I didn’t come out for three days,” she admitted. “Intro to New York 101. It was very, very scary.”
Fairchild still wonders how she managed to think so quickly while fearing for her life.
“I have no clue,” she said. “It was all intuitive because I was not going to let them see how scared I was. That’s what I did. I had to talk my way out of it by being funny, just being a wise a–. It’s like an improvisation class.
“Somebody says something, and you come up with something else and make the scene work. It’s like that, only much more dangerous. I’ve talked my way out of things a couple of times in my life just by being a wise a–.
“My sister had been living in New York for a little bit,” she said. “I was the naïve one from Texas. Although naïve doesn’t really cover it because I wasn’t doing anything stupid. I was just walking in broad daylight. It wasn’t in a dark alley, coming out of a club drunk or any of those other things that could make you vulnerable.”
Fairchild said she shared the story on her podcast to encourage women to be aware of their surroundings.
“I think what women really need to keep in mind is how easy it is for you to just disappear,” said Fairchild. “People were laughing at me as they were throwing me into this car. That, to me, was one of the scariest things: the lack of feeling for your fellow man. And you don’t think something like this could really ever happen to you.”
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The experience has stayed with Fairchild. To this day, she keeps watch on her surroundings.
“I always scan buildings,” she said. “I keep an eye out all the time to see if I’m being followed. I do it surreptitiously, so people don’t really realize, but I’m watching. I’m checking things in a rearview mirror. If I’m in a building, I check to see where the exits are. You have to be aware of your surroundings.
“I say this to women because they’re always on their cellphones, and that makes them so vulnerable.
“They’re not paying attention to what’s going on around them. They’re not paying attention to who’s following them, whether somebody could be hiding around a corner. I’m now very aware all the time. I never walk and text. And that’s what I tell women. Never walk and text. A lot of young women tend to make that mistake. When you walk and text, you become so unaware of anything around you that’s happening. You’re assuming that you’re safe. Never assume that you’re safe.”
Beyond revisiting stories from her past, Fairchild said she hopes the podcast encourages listeners to show more kindness.
“It’s been really fun getting to connect with friends again,” Fairchild said. “And it’s fun that our listeners are reacting to these stories. And you know, on my social media, I sign off with the hashtag #bekind. And I think that’s one thing that’s missing in our society these days: kindness and trying to understand other people’s points of view.”
