Lorraine Nicholson, the daughter of Jack Nicholson, is calling out the status-chasing elite that have taken over Los Angeles.
In a new essay published in W Magazine, the 36-year-old actress takes a satirical approach on modern-day Hollywood clout chasers and the true meaning behind what it means to be “somebody” among the rich and famous.
“Being somebody in Hollywood doesn’t just mean having a bigger house or a better job. It means that when you’re at a party, women won’t peer over your shoulder to see who else has arrived, and men won’t interrupt you in the middle of a story to get a drink,” Nicholson wrote.
“It means that even if your latest blockbuster fails to perform, and regardless of whether you have a spot on the lot, you will always be treated with respect. It’s no wonder, then, that L.A. has established itself as the status-anxiety capital of the world, a city where people will chase clout to the grave.”
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In her piece, Nicholson paints a picture of what it’s really like living in LA, a city filled with gym and sleep-obsessed Angelinos who thrive on supplements and status.
“If you’re somebody in Hollywood, you work out. Even though you work out to be thin and attractive, you will never admit this,” she quipped. “You will tell people it’s to be healthy. Ten years ago, to brag about your Equinox membership or your spot in a Tracy Anderson class would have been perfectly acceptable. Today you will work out with a personal trainer in a private gym that looks like an S&M dungeon.”
As far as dating, Nicholson said everyone is still on the celebrity dating app, Raya, comparing each other to unrealistic versions of themselves.
“If you are a woman, you will be compared to former Victoria’s Secret models and the women on ‘Dancing With the Stars.’ But do not retouch your photos — remember, if you do manage to match with someone, you do not want to go through the humiliation of being compared to the image of yourself that you created, and to which you will never be able to live up.”
Ultimately, Nicholson wrote, all of these external factors that some consider important don’t measure up to what truly matters in life.
“These places do not complete your life in the way you hoped they would,” Nicholson wrote. “And that’s part of what makes L.A. so great. This is a city where people who have tasted the upper echelons of status understand how little it means.
“It’s no coincidence that some of the biggest talents of our day —Leonardo DiCaprio, Michael B. Jordan, Charlize Theron — bring their mothers as their dates and have the same friends from the before times, before they were somebodies.”
In a 2023 interview with Vanity Fair, Nicholson opened up about what it was like growing up with a famous dad.
“I believe my parents had a full-blown party in the room at Cedars-Sinai because adults are constantly coming up to me saying, ‘I was there the day you were born.’”
Lorraine’s parents, Nicholson and Rebecca Broussard, welcomed her into the world April 16, 1990. The one-time couple also share a son, Ray, 31.
As a child growing up on the celebrity scene in Los Angeles, Lorraine had her share of famous friends and neighbors.
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She told Vanity Fair Hugh Hefner’s kids were her best friends and recalled enjoying meals at the Playboy Mansion.
“At the Playboy Mansion, you could order any food you wanted. I would order pounds of mashed potatoes and peas,” she said.
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In 2008, Jack spoke with AARP Magazine about his relationship with Lorraine and Ray.
“We’ve always gotten along. I want to be inspirational or some kind of good influence on them without overburdening them,” he said at the time.
“It’s their time of life to find out who they are,” he continued. “I always read to them, from childhood on; I think that’s a father’s responsibility. I took them to things I knew they might not love – opera, ballet. They like going to the ball games with me.
“And they are very comfortable around show business; they are good set rats. They walked in on my death scene in ‘The Departed.’ I said, ‘If I can get these two kids really worried, I’m doin’ my job!’”
